Vincent AcelingSmartAnswers
November 4th 2007 04:54
STUPID QUESTIONS
>WITH
>SMART ANSWERS
>
>BOY : May I hold your hand?
>GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
>
>GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
>BOY : You love me...
>
>GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
>BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>
>GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
>BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
>
>GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
>BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>
>BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
>GIRL : How soon??
>
>BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
>GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>
>WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
>other.
>HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of
>the mouth.
>
>MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
>Peter?
>PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>
>1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
>Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
>
>2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
>Pupil : "The moon".
>Teacher : "Why?"
>Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives
>us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
>
>3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
>are no longer interested?"
>Pupil : "A teacher".
>
>4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
>Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
>
>5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
>current affairs.
>
>6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
>Sam : "It's a family tradition".
>Teacher : "What do you mean?"
>Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
>Teacher : "What about your mother?"
>Sam : "She's a woman".
>
>7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
>
avid: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance
>repeated".
>
>8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
>him, what virtue would I be showing?"
>Student : "Brotherly love".
>
>9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
>Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
>
>10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
>octor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten
>people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.
>The others all died".
>
>11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
>One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at
>the same time."
>
>12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
>tree, but also admitted doing it.
>Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
>One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
>WITH
>SMART ANSWERS
>
>BOY : May I hold your hand?
>GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
>
>GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
>BOY : You love me...
>
>GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
>BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>
>GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
>BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
>
>GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
>BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
>GIRL : How soon??
>
>BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
>GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>
>WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
>other.
>HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of
>the mouth.
>
>MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
>Peter?
>PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>
>1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
>Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
>
>2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
>Pupil : "The moon".
>Teacher : "Why?"
>Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives
>us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
>
>3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
>are no longer interested?"
>Pupil : "A teacher".
>
>4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
>
>5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
>current affairs.
>
>6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
>Sam : "It's a family tradition".
>Teacher : "What do you mean?"
>Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
>Teacher : "What about your mother?"
>Sam : "She's a woman".
>
>7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
>
avid: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance>repeated".
>
>8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
>him, what virtue would I be showing?"
>Student : "Brotherly love".
>
>9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
>Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
>
>10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
>
octor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten>people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.
>The others all died".
>
>11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
>One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at
>the same time."
>
>12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
>tree, but also admitted doing it.
>Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
>One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
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